A friend of mine posted a request on facebook today looking for support and love to help her through a difficult time. She asked that we share with her a happy memory we have about her... Doing this, thinking about memories of times shared with her, brought me back to a time when I was the happiest I can remember! I went looking through my cds to find the pictures from those days... and as I looked through these pics that were less than six years old, I found myself face to face with memories that seem like they were a lifetime ago! I laughed right out loud... I felt the growl of old frustrations... I smiled ear to ear... and even came close to tears.
I am grateful for my friends request that lead me down memory lane today... those were GREAT times!!! Looking back at the pictures reminded me of times and people that I didn't realize I'd forgotten. I wish I had taken more photos...
I absolutely LOVED those days! I absolutely LOVED the girls I got to spend every day with! I absolutely LOVED learning and practicing new techniques! I absolutely LOVED being who I was back then! And now... now I am nothing of who I was! Physically I am no longer able to perform the techniques I learned... Mentally I don't think I could even learn and remember all I had to in those days... I don't even look like the same person I was back then! I used to feel happy... and healthy... and sexy... and "girlie"... and useful... In those days I felt like I could do anything, like I could conquer the WORLD! I was strong... and beautiful... and sexy... a leader... and looked up to... and sexy... ...and sexy... ...and sexy... What the HECK happened to me!!??!!
Somehow I know I will never be that person I was... but still hold out hope that I can feel all that AND MORE! I look in the mirror now and CHOOSE to see the beauty! And, one day, I hope to have a man in my life that shows me the affection I had back in those days... that I can once again feel like the SEXY woman I am inside! But this much I know... if that never happens... I am still SO VERY THANKFUL for those days... for the reality that I got to live, if even for just a while... Those were really the happiest days of my life... so far...
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